The Fault In Our Stars & San Diego Comic Con!

Last week I read The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. I wasn’t sure if it would be wise to read it but I was too curious and after reading the first page I couldn’t put it down. It's heavy and made me cry most of the way through but I'm glad I read it. It didn't exactly leave me feeling wonderful, it's about dying after all. But it left me feeling hopeful in a way and I wish it hadn't ended. I’m not like Hazel and our stories are very different. However there were some parts that I could relate to and particularly the beginning of chapter 7 stunned me a little.

Exchange the word ‘brain’ for ‘abdomen’ and you have a scene from my life circa late December. Just one of many trips to A&E and every time being sure that I couldn't possibly live through the pain. But you deal because you have to, there’s not really another option. Until they pump you full of narcotics, then you can cope just fine - until next time!

I’ve thought a lot about this book, and about the last year and about life in general. Things are still a bit fuzzy around the edges but the human body is incredible how quickly it mends itself. I couldn’t have imagined ever feeling well again in February of this year. But here I am minus a portion of my large intestine, running around London (literally), singing in concerts (ever so slightly Bambi-like still, but I’ll get there) and preparing to take myself on an epic vacation to San Diego Comic Con (and Los Angeles and San Francisco). Huh?! Mind boggling, I know.

San Diego… Yes! I’m geeking it up and getting on a plane to Nerd Central and it’s going to be AWESOME! As it turns out, life’s too short. Earlier this year James Eatock (writer, publisher, illustrator and all round professional geek) asked me if I’d fancy going along to the Comic Con as mascot of his magazine Cereal:Geek and I will wander around pimping his magazine to all and sundry boosting the sales sky high. I’ve even made a cameo appearance on the official He-Man YouTube Channel (blink and you'll miss me around 20 seconds in...) and a few weeks ago I enjoyed a day of filming various He-Man/geek themed shenanigans for use in the coming months. Watch this space! Mr. Eatock also has a He-Man/She-Ra Blog which you should also check out here!

Anyway, I thought at first this trip to the US of A would never happen. But it turns out, it is! And I’m more excited than words!

But not just this, we’re going to be living it up in San Francisco and Los Angeles too! But at the Comic Con, it would only be in true Marianne style to don some fancy dress and in fact make it myself. So I’m going to be Jem and Sweet Bee. As one of my active days I met up with Mr. Eatock to hunt down the appropriate fabric to make myself the aforementioned costumes! I already have my Jem wig at the ready! I have also spotted some comic strip fabric in a shop in town that I’ve had my eye on forever so I might even make some comic themed bow ties/ties to really get in the mood!

On the bow tie front here is another for the Green collection! I present a schmancy silk dupion bow tie – no patterns this time but it has the slubs adding texture and interest, and it sure is nice fabric! There’s more where that came from!

As for other things already sold to happy customers, here is the Glenmorangie bow tie being modelled by its stylish new owner - guitarist, teacher, music shop owner and blogger - Adie Lawson!

Green

Term time is quietening down and so I'm making more time for sewing! YAY!

A couple of months ago I went for a photoshoot with my dear friend Amelia (a late Christmas present) and I decided I would take along a playsuit that I made last summer from vintage material given to me by Grandma Wright...

I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to make from it but because of it being vintage, I had originally thought some kind of vintage style dress but eventually I settled on adapting the pattern I'd began to cut and creating a 1950's style playsuit as my holiday to Spain was imminent (I actually finished stitching the playsuit at about 3am the night before I was due to fly at 9am - as is often the case when I plan to sew something!).

Adapting a pattern to fit yourself is tricky as I'm not exactly a standard shape and it's not stretchy so it was quite important to get it right! I also made a matching head tie for it but may still create a 1950's head scarf to go with it... or is that overkill? So, I wore this in Spain on the day that I lost a Go Kart race against the boys in Oriheuela - but they kindly let me stand at the top of the podium to make me feel better. Here is the finished product!

 

Poser.

In preparation for my Easter trip to Spain with Amelia, I made a v-neck tea dress from some vintage polka dot cotton. Since Spain is hotter than the sun it was the perfect light weight & loose holiday outfit! Again, I finished it about 5 minutes before heading out the door to get on a plane.

More recently I've been making bow ties! I had a request from a friend for a bow tie as a present for someone who liked green. Lucky that, since green is my favourite colour, I happen to have lots of it so I've been on a bit of a green mission to make as many green bow ties as I can... I've managed two so far... :S The bright green was originally the requested fabric for the bow tie in question but I'm not convinced. Love the print but the fabric was quite thick to tie so I think it would suit someone who suits/likes larger bow ties and wants to make a statement.

So, I went about making a completely different one from similar fabric to the Glenmorangie bow tie in my post This is from Matilda. Sadly, no Glenmorangie was consumed during the creation of this one. This one was created partly to the soundtrack of Milhaud's 6 Chansons de Theatre... Which I am learning. And are great.

I have decided to put this day aside to sewing more green things (and practicing and doing something active)... but mostly sewing green things.

Watch this space!

:)

Never Too Young

A couple of weeks ago I performed for the first time since late 2013. After beginning to use my voice again at the beginning of May I had my work cut out to perform a recital of Lieder and English Song for the Brighton Fringe Festival on the 31st May. After stressing myself out about it to the point of tears on numerous occasions leading up to the event I had to give myself a slap around the face and as instructed by my singing teacher, cut myself some slack! The only person I wasn't good enough for it seemed was me. A familiar story for the past few years when it comes to singing I'm afraid. Why the hell was I beating myself up especially since the reason for not singing was unavoidable and has also left me feeling rather low a lot of the time. It's not like I was being lazy, I started silent practice way in advance to avoid the freak out I knew I was prone to having approaching a recital, but when I began to actually sing again why was I surprised that my stamina and support wasn't what it once was? Lying in a hospital bed for a couple of days each week, high as a kite on morphine to control the pain and then having those support muscles you've worked hard to train cut open isn't going to magically return to normal working order the moment you try to use them again! Silly Marianne. Still, you watch all the audition deadlines come and go, all your peers zooming ahead with their careers and you still standing there, stuck in vocal limbo and feel useless and like it's all your fault. Stupid cancer.




A couple of years ago a wonderful singing teacher said to me whilst I was mid beating myself up over not meeting my own standards - 'you have to remember that you're a human being before a singer' - at the time, this alone made me jolt with realisation. Was I? I was supposed to be a singing machine, was I not? I misunderstood the message somewhere along the way, my passion for my subject had overtaken me as a human and the result was disappointment in myself, I was always striving for more. Which is something that I greatly admire in people, but in myself I was striving for more than I was capable of at that particular time, inevitably resulting in misery and disappointment. The next bit of advice she gave me was another shock, '...it's more important that you have a nice life.' This conversation in the midst of my self inflicted misery was a pivotal moment in my life. I believed I was nothing if I was not the most amazing performer. Why was it a surprise to me that I should have a nice life?! So from that moment I vowed to myself I would have a nice life AND be a human which meant focusing on other things rather than just being a singing robot! Nowadays, this translates as sewing, knitting, crafting and more recently '100 Active Days' but like I said, it still creeps up on me from time to time!




So the performance at Brighton Fringe went really well considering and the venue asked us back, what's to complain about? My awesome pianist also very kindly donated his performance fee to Bowel Cancer UK's Never Too Young campaign! What a star! Similarly, this weekend I sang with my trio Sinopia for the Royal British Legion to mark 70 years since the D-Day landings and the audience had a grand time and gave us a standing ovation at the end. Isn't that what's it all about anyway? 


Following my operation at the end of January, I asked the surgeon when I could safely go back to singing. At the time I was in such pain that I couldn't have thought it possible but he said 3 months. He also said that me being a singer explained a few things - he and his fellow surgeons had been scratching their heads wondering why they were struggling to cut through my abdominal muscles during surgery. They said they would expect it with a big rugby player on the table but looking at this 5ft 1 wee thing they were a bit confused. Well at least I was doing something right! But now, back to the drawing board! 




After being inspired by Twitter user and fellow cancer survivor @EleanorHarwood I thought I'd join her in doing 100 Active Days. A twist on the popular 100 Happy Days which I began the day I got the all clear. For me, I'm hoping that taking part in 100 Active Days will help my stamina for life and singing get back on track. I have created a Just Giving page in the hope some people might give a little money to the cause. I'm only on my second day and there's already been donations so it seems to be working! I was particularly saddened at reading about the incredible Stephen Sutton who sadly lost his battle with Bowel Cancer recently but managed to raise over £4m for the Teenage Cancer Charity. I read that he was tragically diagnosed with constipation for months before discovering he had cancer. This is why I wanted to help raise some money for the Never Too Young campaign as this is also what I was diagnosed with for 5 months of my illness, cancer wasn't even on the radar it seemed as I'm only 27. For me it wasn't too late by the time they found it and I feel so so lucky. Some people like Stephen aren't so lucky so please donate via my Just Giving page and hopefully it can go towards setting up the resources needed to get the appropriate tests sooner, regardless of age.

I tried to make a pancake... but now I have an omelette!

Hello! Back to the land of the living (mostly) after a crazy few weeks juggling a job being costume supervisor on an opera, a part time office job, teaching and trying to find the time to practise, have singing lessons and get to a doctor to help me shake off a horrendous lingering cough (which inevitably impeded my ability to do the singing part). I know I'm still recovering from it all as my feet are killing me from all the running around town buying suits/tattoos/trimmings and I'm so tired I can't even make a pancake properly. But, I still had a great time working on Romeo & Juliet with a fabulous creative team and a super cast! I managed to get some of my own wardrobe/my Mama's wardrobe on stage and even some things I had made/adapted - 3 cravats, a Duke-ified suit jacket and some masks. 

Gertrude's mask for the party

Mama's fur stole made its operatic debut looking fabulous on one of Riverside Opera's Choral Scholars

Adding some trimming to the duke and making him a cravat

Capulet's party mask

Capulet's Cravats

I've dabbled in costume making before on a production of Mozart's Magic Flute, a roller coaster of co-producing, singing AND costume design back in 2011 with student led opera company Puzzle Piece Opera. It was brilliant fun and was with a team of people I greatly admire and enjoy working with, although as Bernstein said - 'to achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.' This was definitely true with learning a role, designing and making costumes and doing a degree at the same time! We singers do know how to push ourselves to the limit! I always loved the motto 'there's 24 usable hours in every day' - a quote from my favourite film throughout my adolescent years, Empire Records. However, what I was forgetting was that the character in question was a) on speed and b) fictitious. I am neither of those things, and also, I am human. Sitting up until 6am sewing and then going to college all day does not lead to productive and focused practise! But, if I do say so myself Pamina and her crew looked ace. Our Magic Flute was set in a medieval and fantastical world (with a hint of Robin Hood - I was in my Kevin Costner phase) with our three wenches corseted up and our armed men in tabards... chainmail is expensive and on a budget of £200 for the whole thing I think thats OK! Anyway, here is some photos of some of the costumes.

This is from Matilda...

Last night between sourcing some costumes for Riverside Opera's upcoming production of Romeo and Juliet and a wee dram of Glenmorangie I decided to adapt my bow tie pattern a teensy bit and play with some fabric I bought in Spain a couple of weeks ago. This isn't vintage fabric but it does have a vintage print which jumped off the shelf and right into my basket before you could say "Gracias". The fabric itself was actually pretty awkward to work with because it's rather delicate... perhaps would make a better (skinny?) tie... Market research to ensue on this matter! Awkward fabric aside, I'm still pretty pleased with the outcome. I also couldn't find my interfacing anywhere so I have used non fusible interfacing which actually worked really well to soften it up a bit and give it more body.

Working to a soundtrack of Alt-J, John Smith and The Staves which is also quite fitting I think for the look of the bow tie I started cutting and pinning. I had a mild heart attack when I realised for some reason my sewing machine was jammed but apparently nothing a good whack wouldn't sort after I took it half to pieces. Phew! I probably have enough of this colour to make more bow ties/ties and also I have the same pattern in dark green, red and purple. Orders welcome!

Et Voila!

Going back in time a few weeks... When I was ill earlier this year I received a gift from my aunt and uncle, since I don't have a TV this was the closest I'd come to The Great British Sewing Bee. It's probably closer actually as it has all the patterns and ideas right there in one book. Some styles I've made before and some I haven't. I'd been meaning to get cracking with bow ties for a while and on opening this fabulous gift I no longer had an excuse to procrastinate. I offered my friend a lucky dip of fabric and he dived straight in for the gorgeous floral cotton from my previous post 'The Shirt'. What a stylish man. 

The Shirt

I suppose I should post some of my creations! Here's a start. I thought about going chronologically when I had this blog in mind but this was one of the challenging projects that sprung to mind first. About 7 years ago I scoured eBay for some fabric to make a shirt for my then beau's birthday present. I found enough material to upholster the Queen's living room and made the shirt, then a dress - in my tiny bedroom in halls of residence which was premiered at my first year vocal recital - and more recently of course a BOW TIE. There might even be enough left for ONE more bow tie you lucky people. 

Luke has gone on to have a very varied and exciting career encompassing modelling, acting, music and also working for the Nottingham designer Paul Smith in his flagship store. I'm pretty stoked that my shirt features on his website so do check it out: http://www.lukewilliamhicks.com/ 

With no further ado *drumroll please* here is said shirt with said beau inside it.

Inspiration - 'I'm Possible'

To keep the momentum going I'm going to bring you up to speed! Here are some of my inspirations which I'm told helped a friend 'get' me. Which is a good thing, I think. Perhaps that also says that I don't make sense to my friends though...

Nonetheless, each of these people/characters/illustrations inspire me creatively, some of them musically as well as in relation to what I choose to sew and what colours/patterns/fabrics I choose to work with.

This fabulous collage was put together by the wizardry of Master Eatock who not only is going to teach me how to use Photoshop so I can stop bombarding him with pictures but now totally 'gets' me :)

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'" - Audrey Hepburn